The word compatibility is often used by people when
it comes to relationship and also the word suitability from the root word
“suitable” gotten from the scripture Gen 2:18 where God said He will make a
help meet (suitable) for Adam.
The English dictionary defines the two words as
follows:
SUITABILITY: The word
“suitable” means being right or appropriate for a particular purpose or
occasion.
COMPATIBILITY: The ability of people or things
to live or exist together without problems.
There have been a lot of
mix up between these two words and there are many relationships that are not
working or breaking up because of this mix up. You hear people say we are not
compatible and cannot marry and things like that.
From Gen 2:18, God was
much more interested in the suitability of the man and woman. God is more
interested in somebody that is right for you and not just somebody you can live
with. What makes you
suitable for somebody is when you fit into his/her
purpose. Remember Eve was a help suitable for Adam. So it is very important
that you discover your purpose and allow God to bring you the man or lady who
will be suitable for that purpose.
You can be compatible
with somebody and not be suitable or right for that person but you can’t be
suitable with somebody and not be compatible with that person. Compatibility
doesn’t just naturally happen. It takes work. The truth that a particular
person is right or the will of God for you will make you to work towards
compatibility.
The most important area
you need compatibility is in your FAITH and Believe in the Son of God (Jesus
Christ). An unbeliever cannot be suitable for you and you cannot be compatible
(you cannot live together without problem because there wont be agreement
between the two of you and you will have different ideology and belief about
God). So the most important thing to check in your compatibility is your FAITH.
Once you are suitable and compatible in your faith, you can learn to live
together in other areas. From Genesis chapter 2, Suitability comes first before
the man cleaved to his wife (compatibility).
One of the things I’ve
learnt about relationship is that, compatibility does not naturally happen; you
only work out your differences day by day so as to attain compatibility.
Suitability is meeting
the right man/woman at the right time for the right purpose.
Compatibility is two
different people coming together to work on their differences for the
fulfillment purpose.
Our upbringing, values,
perspective etc may make us different from each other and that is why courtship
is very important before marriage. Courtship helps you to work on your
difference so that you will be able to work together in agreement and be
compatible before marriage.
Who you need is the
suitable person for you. Stop using your level of compatibility as yardstick
for measuring the right person for you. Allow God to show you the Right person
like he did for Adam.
NOTE: You can be
compatible and not suitable (meaning you can learn to work out your differences
without being right for each other and that will definitely bring frustration
and disappointment). But when you are suitable, it becomes easy to be
compatible as you work on yourselves and get rid of your differences.
SUITABILITY precedes
Compatibility when it comes to choosing whom to marry.
Do have a great day ahead.
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